阅读理解 “I can't play any musical instrument!” This sad comment, often heard in other wise musical families, is an untruth．The reality is that there is one musical instrument that everyone can play：the kazoo．If there were an advertisement for openings in a kazoo band, it would have to say, “No talent needed．”As Barbara Stewart, a kazoo expert, says, “It takes about four seconds to learn．For slow learners, it may take six seconds．” Nearly everyone is familiar with the kazoo, “an open-ended tube with a membrane-covered side hole．”Many people have, at one time or other, actually played a kazoo．As writer Ben Fanton has said, “It has often been used as a stocking-stuffer at Christmas time by parents who've deeply regretted their action about an hour after sunrise on Christmas morning．”The father may hit the roof, but the kids go on playing very happily． Some people take the kazoo seriously．Barbara Stewart is not one of them, though she collects kazoos in all shapes, sizes, and in many different materials．She is a professional kazooist, who has formed “the world's largest kazoo group”．It's the largest because it actually has five members! Members of the group have, at times, been serious music students, but when they join the group, fun of playing kazoos conquers all．Her group is dressed in formal jackets－but is barefooted! The group has appeared on the Tonight show; Good Morning, America; PM Magazine; and other television programs．The performers create fun at serious music．At their performances, audience members enter the spirit of fun and throw socks at them．“I once got a really nice pair,” Barbara proudly declares． Despite her fun with the kazoo, Barbara Stewart has a serious reply when asked why people should trouble themselves with the kazoo．“It's fun! People are ready for a good time, and it's a good-time instrument．Everybody can do it and a lot of people have wanted to do something musical and have gone through the terrible experience of grade-school music where they are asked not to sing．Playing the kazoo brings out creativity．” Indeed, throughout the country, senior citizens form kazoo bands that entertain patients in nursing homes and perform in shopping malls and other places of assembly．To see the look of the serious concentration and great satisfaction on the faces of these performers is to realize that the kazoo has a place in music． If you'd like to become a kazoo performer yourself, you may benefit from the advice offered by Barbara Stewart．“Practice, Practice, Practice．But not near the neighbors．” |
